Wazzzup!
As usual it takes me about a month in between posts, so here is what is and has been going on…
Bartending Course - A few weeks back I decided to take an introductory course on bartending and mixology. I have always wanted to be a bartender and enjoy the high paced environment that comes with the job. Anyway, 3.5 weeks have gone by and tonight I have my final exam. Basically there is a written test as well as a practical exam where you have to do things like make 3 different drinks in 3 minutes. I know that may sound easy, but its harder than it sounds. Anyway, hopefully I pass tonight then the whole class is going drinking after. Should be a good time.
Financial Planning - The markets are so bad right now, that I figure this is probably one of the best times to get in (well probably would have been better about a month ago, but never did that). Anyway, I’ve realized over the years that I suck at trading and I think I have lost on pretty much every stock purchase I have ever made. So, why not get someone else to do it for you. I remember my bank telling me a long time ago that if you were willing to invest a certain amount they would give you one of their “experts” to work with you on an investment strategy. Well, I finally reached that goal and had my meeting yesterday. The planner is putting together my plan over the next week and a bit so I should be ready to go to make some money shortly. Fingers crossed.
Trips - Will be heading to Las Vegas in a week for what will hopefully be an amazing weekend with several PAL members. I have tried to organize some fun stuff, but so far it has been about a 50/50 interest so we’ll see where that goes. Ah well, will be good to seem some old faces regardless and maybe meet some new people. After Vegas I think I may go back down to Argentina for about 3 weeks, but still waiting to confirm on that. After that I may or may not head over to Europe for August and maybe stick it out for Budapest in September, but that is just a dream right now.
Motorcycle License - I bought the books to get my motorcycle license, but still need to read them and do the test. I think driving a bike would be a lot of fun, though a little dangerous. Since I don’t have a car (everything I would want is too expensive) I think a bike would be great to use to get around. Once I get that done was thinking about picking up a used R6 or something. I love the Harley Night Rod, but don’t want to spend that much. Anyone have one? Tips?
Affiliate Stuff - I am falling so far behind in this game I need to start busting my ass again. I have like 3 new sites on the go and get so overwhelmed sometimes I don’t know where to focus my time. To top it off my existing sites need some work and I just finished redesigning one of my bigger sites. I need to hire someone I think, but am also kinda cheap with what I would want to pay. Decisions, decisions.
Well… thats pretty much all I can think of for now. I’ll try and get some better posts up here soon and put more focus into what I write here. I definitely need to start doing more affiliate tips. If you are coming to Vegas let me know and I’ll see you there!
Anyway, I’ll leave you with this…
Back in Canada
Well, I’ve been back home for about a week now and have been kinda sick since getting back. Definitely miss Argentina and can’t wait to head back again.
Tax season is upon us now and one of my least favorite times of the year. Nothing is more fun then sending the government a big fat ass check that they are just gonna blow on stupid bullshit.
Missed out on Amsterdam this time, but looks like everyone is having a blast as usual. Trying to decide which conference to go to next. Where is everyone else going?
Jeremy Miller launched a blog recently. Please, turn off the stupid “YOU MUST BE LOGGED IN TO COMMENT”… where’s the fun in that!
Been having some awful poker sessions as of late. Just the other day was playing some 2/4 PLO and hit a set on the turn in a decent sized pot. The other guy bet, I reraised big, and he shoved me all in on a JT53 board (I hit 5’s). I made the call, and he showed AA97??? Anyway, river came an Ace… gg asshole. I need to stop playing.
This weekend is the Toronto FC opener and my brother is taking me (allegedly). I don’t always believe everything he says, but he seems to be serious so hopefully its a go because I really want to go to the game. Gotta pick up a new jersey for that.
Other than that, life is boring… can’t wait to travel again.
/end boring post
How Do Retarded People Get Jobs as Affiliate Managers?
Recently I received an email that was titled “Attractive Proposal” so I decided I would investigate further to see what this affiliate manager was offering….
Original Email:
Dear Webmaster,
My name is Natasha Goffman; I am an Account Manager at
www.Affiliateclub.com.
I find your website very attractive for our brands:
www.casinoclub-poker.com,
www.pokerkings.com
Our affiliates are getting fantastic conversion rates!
Do you want to hear more about it?
Kind regards,
Natasha Goffman
Account Manager
NatashaG@affiliateClub.com
www.AffiliateClub.com
Tel: 
+972-737005663
Skype: Natasha.gvc
My response:
Hi Natasha,
I am in the process of trying to find a room to get a league going
ASAP. Here are my requirements that I have been asking rooms for:
Hybrid CPA/Rev Share Deal
Tourmanent Prizes
Tell me a bit about your software and what you can offer.
Regards,
Graham Rowlands
GNG Media Inc.
Her reply to my email (notice how she doesn’t even READ MY FUCKING EMAIL!!!):
Dear Graham,
Thank you for your reply.
We have 2 brands with Boss Media software:
1. At www.casinoclub-poker.com - we offer 100% up to 200€ Welcome bonus ( here we can make a special promotion for you)
2. At www.pokerkings.com we offer 100% up to 300€ Welcome bonus
WE are usually working on Rev Share Deal.
What do you think about it?
Kind regards,
Natasha Goffman
My last and final response ever to Natasha:
Well Natasha, here is what I think about it…
For one, you never even gave me a proposal, but rather decided listing the standard
bonuses on your websites would get my attention. I am not sure how that is supposed to
sell me. I think you started this off with a great attention grabbing title to your
email, but you really need to work on the follow through.
And two, there was nothing “attractive” about it. I get a million of these kind of
emails all the time, and this kind of junk just wastes my time. Don’t beat around the
bush, sell your brand, tell me what I am gonna make, and give me good reasons why I
should promote your brand, over one of the competitors.
Anyway, hopefully this helps you in the future and thanks for giving me something to
write about on my blog.
Better luck in the future!
Graham
You Can’t Be Serious
Okay, so I got an email today that made me think… “WTF!!”
Here is the first few lines of the email:
“Hello,
My name is Virginie and I am the Affiliates Manager for www.a-winning-hand.com…”
Did she actually just say that they entered a multi-billion dollar industry and the best thing they could come up with was THAT DOMAIN??? Holy crap they must have thought they hit the jackpot when they found out it was still available! Are people really this retarded?
That is all for now 
Choices
John is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good mood and always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, “If I were any better, I would be twins!” He was a natural motivator. If an employee was having a bad day, John was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.
Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up and asked him, “I don’t get it! You can’t be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?”
He replied, “Each morning I wake up and say to myself, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or … you can choose to be in a bad mood. I choose to be in a good mood.” Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or…I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it. Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or… I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life.
“Yeah, right, it’s not that easy,” I protested.
“Yes, it is,” he said. “Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It’s your choice how you live your life” I reflected on what he said. Soon hereafter, I left the Tower Industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.
Several years later, I heard that he was involved in a serious accident, falling some 60 feet from a communications tower. After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, he was released from the hospital with rods placed in his back. I saw him about six months after the accident.
When I asked him how he was, he replied, “If I were any better, I’d be twins Wanna see my scars?”
I declined to see his wounds, but I did ask him what had gone through his mind as the accident took place. “The first thing that went through my mind was the well-being of my soon-to-be born daughter,” he replied. “Then, as I lay on the ground, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or…I could choose to die. I chose to live.”
“Weren’t you scared? Did you lose consciousness?” I asked.
He continued, “..the paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the ER and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read ‘he’s a dead man’. I knew I needed to take action.”
“What did you do?” I asked.
“Well, there was a big burly nurse shouting questions at me,” said John. “She asked if I was allergic to anything.
‘Yes, I replied.’
The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, ‘Gravity’.”
Over their laughter, I told them, “I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead.”
He lived, thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude… I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully. Attitude, after all, is everything.
Back in Buenos Aires
Man is it nice to be back here after freezing my butt off in Canada for the last little while. Not much has changed here and it is still lots of fun as usual. Since being back I have managed to catch up with some friends that I met last time, and start spanish classes again.
I found a pretty kick-ass apartment and I have actually been able to get a little more work done. Here are some pics of the new place:
Fortunately this apartment has wifi, so I can even sit outside and do work. Right now its around 30+ degrees everyday and there is always a nice cool breeze.
Also I have joined a gym and am trying to be a little more healthy. Reading Justin’s new site has really made me start thinking about getting back into a more proper workout routine/diet, rather than just going to the gym a few times per week.
Anyway, I’ll try and write more later, but unforunately I HAVE HOMEWORK/STUDYING TO DO… I know… WTF?
Don’t Go To Venezuela / Welcome to ‘09!
First off, this is the first post in 2009 so HAPPY NEW YEAR! I had a good new year until the end of the night when my jacket managed to walk its way out of the restaurant that I was at. This is never a good thing to happen especially after a ton of alcohol as when I got home I sent some stupid email to the restaurant. Anyway, turns out someone “mistakingly” left with my coat and it is waiting at the restaurant now to be picked up. So… the point of me telling this story.. don’t use your computer when you are really drunk.
Yesterday I got back from a week in Margarita Island, Venezuela with my good friend Greg. It was a nice relaxing trip, but I would probably never go back there. The people were pretty rude, unfriendly and didn’t seem to welcoming to tourists. For example, I went to the mall and tried to order a pretzel, the girl just looked at me with one of the coldest looks and was like “no”. I couldn’t tell if they didn’t have them or if she just didn’t want to sell one to me. Also, when we were leaving the Country at the airport they had these Chavez dolls that talked. I decided to push the button to hear what it said and some douchebag came over and said, “you aren’t going to buy it so why are you doing that”. I just looked at him and said, “this is why your country sucks and why I’ll never come back”. I am so tempted to register MargaritaIslandSucks.com right now, but I’ll sit on it for now.
I shouldn’t say that all the people were bad ovbiously, as one of the bartenders at our resort was awsome, but I think he was probably the only nice Venezuelan we met down there. I even asked some Venzuelan/Canadian girl about the general attitude we had been receiving at one of the clubs and was told simply: “they don’t like gringos here”. On top of that the island itself had a communist feel to it, and at times didn’t feel very safe. When I asked one girl about going to a club one night she must have told me about 5 times to “cuidado” which means be careful in spanish.
The trip wasn’t all bad though. I spent most of my time there lying on a beach getting a tan, doing little to no work. We left the resort quite a bit and took a jeep tour of the island which was a ton of fun. It was 8 hours long and included a boat tour, open air jeep driving around the island (you could stand in the back which was a ton of fun), off-road driving, lunch, stop at a beach, and much more all for just $50. Here are some pics of that:
The food at the resort was pretty decent, so I can’t really complain about that. One thing that was a little annoying though was Greg and I were probably the only single guys at the resort so the “girls” situation was awful. Long story short.. if you are thinking of going to Margarita Island, I’d pick somewhere else (like Jamaica) instead.
Well, next week I am headed back to Buenos Aires :) I am so excited to get back there as the winter cold is killing me being inside all the time. I need to get out and move around as I feel that winter makes me feel so much unhealthier.
As for ‘09, I think this will be a good year. My main goals are to start expanding on non-gambling projects and investigate other areas of online marketing. I think my strong points are consulting others so if possible I would like to focus on that a little more. Hopefully this year I can come up with a more long term goal for myself as right now I still have no clue what I want to do with my life. Time will tell! If anyone is planning to come to BsAs (Buenos Aires) or wants to, send me a note. Best to everyone with this year!
Merry Christmas!
First and foremost, Merry Christmas to everyone or happy holidays if you celebrate some other weird holiday. Just kidding, I don’t discriminate ;) I had a nice Xmas with the fam. Pretty quiet, but lots of great wine and amazing meals!
Anyway, so lately I haven’t been up to all that much. Just lots of shopping for the holidays, which is thankfully now over, and trying to get some work done, which is as usual pretty unsuccessful. Also been hibernating in my house as it has been ridiculously cold lately.
Vacations… I bought a plane ticket to head back to Argentina on January 21st for 2 months. The prices were so good and since I have been hating every day of winter since I got back I thought it was the right thing to do. Also, I will be going to Venezuela on January 6th for 1 week, so if you are looking for me, good luck! I’ll be on the beach without my computer.
Work… trying to get back into it. Have many projects that have been sitting in limbo that I am trying to get going again. Wish me luck! Dreading doing my taxes, but I know it has to be done. I have the gov’t, bunch of criminals!
Hopefully everyone is enjoying this little break in the year and having a nice time with their families!
I end this post with something I saw today on Wicked Chops Poker… possibly the greatest commercial of all-time! I won’t give any spoilers, BUT be warned… this is NSFW. Enjoy!
Link: 
Affiliate Manager Tip: Learn To Spell
Just received a nice email from good ol’ PAP and after reading the first line was turned off from reading on:
You have received a new private message at Poker Affiliate Programs - Affiliate Community for Poker Affiliates from hanford, entitled “Affiliate oppertunity“.
The email came from some crap site called Cool Hand Poker (Coolhandpoker.com) which is obviously the site of choice for the math team judging by the picture on their ugly homepage. The site itself looks very poorly put together and the name is awful. I guess this is what happens when people don’t want to spend more than $6.95 on their domain registration.
The rest of the email was all about the standard crappy bonuses and typical commissions. Can’t anyone be original anymore!!!
Anyway, keep on spamming your crap site, but really its just a waste of time as there is no way I would ever promote Coolhandpoker.com.
On a side note, it seems like I have been getting a ton of spam PMs lately over there, but since I don’t go there anymore I could really care less. Way to keep those spammers out PAP. Maybe you shouldn’t have gotten rid of all your mods!
Aced.com Presents: Balling Weekend in Vegas
I am still recovering from the past few days of debauchery as I write this post, but let me try and recap what was probably one of the funnest weekends of my life thanks to Aced.com.
As an active affiliate with Aced, I was given the opportunity to join them for an affiliate retreat in Vegas thanks to their amazing affiliate manager affiliate director poker room manager (I think that’s the title he is using now): Brandon Berndt. Brandon is one of the most liked people in this industry and definitely knows how to throw a party (anyone remember the Stinkyfish Party at the 2006 CAC?) so I knew this was going to be a weekend to remember and there was no way I was going to miss this. In fact, I had contemplated extending my time in Buenos Aires, but decided that it was probably in my best interests to make it back for this weekend in Vegas.
Day 1
My friend (and business partner) Greg and I arrive in Las Vegas and manage to track down Brandon, Kendall and Jeremy “$100 Slot and Candy College Fund” Enke in the airport and jump in a stretch limo to the Hard Rock Hotel. (If you know Vegas, you will know that the Hard Rock is one of the best party hotels to stay at in the whole city). We walk into the hotel and notice a rather large line forming around the check-in counter. Fortunately, this is completely irrelevant because we are going straight to the VIP Room where our room keys are waiting for us. Here we pick up the itinerary for the trip which includes things like: partying in the penthouse suite for the HRH hottie model search, dinner at Nobu, private poker tournament, bikini contest in the penthouse, and the best booth in Body English on the last night. OMFG this is gonna be fun!
After a quick shower and stop in the room we all head to Center Bar (the bar right in the middle of the casino). Here we meet up with John Halloway, Jeremy Miller, and Mike Murphy (plus his girlfriend Alicia). We have a few beers, shoot the shit then head over to Ago (Robert Deniro’s restaurant) for an amazing dinner. I am really picky with food, but this was probably one of the best pasta dishes I have ever had in my life!
After dinner we hit the casino floor for a little gambling. Jeremy M. helps teach me how to play craps again as I had only played once before. I quickly lose $150 or so and find out that we are going to be going up to the Penthouse Suite now to help judge a “Hottie Model Search”.
We all pile into an elevator and these two girls follow in behind. Because we had been taking so long the elevator started to make a buzzing noise, so I said, “Sorry girls, you are too heavy”. Fortunately they did not hear this, but half of the other people in the elevator did 
Up we go to the top floor and walk into one of the most incredible hotel rooms in the world! The room comes complete with huge bar, bowling alley, stripper pole, massive LCD TV’s everywhere and much more! There are smoking hot girls walking around everywhere and are all dying to get to know you to try and swing your vote: AMAZING!
We’ll get to the girls pics in a bit, but for now here are a couple from walking around the room:
Me, Kendall, Jeremy, Greg, and Brandon
Jacuzzi with stripper pole in the background
John Halloway
Bowling Alley on Left, Bar area straight ahead
Guitar on the dining room table
After chilling here for a bit and many free vodka red bulls, some of the group decides they are going to hit the strip club. Greg, Mike and I decide that we would rather hang out at the party for a bit more and hang back, but from what I heard the next day they had quite a night and one stripper in particular by the name of Candy was able to retire that night thanks to Jeremy “Breaking All the Stripclub Etiquette Rules” Enke.
We hang out in the Penthouse for a little while longer and decide to break out for one of the clubs downstairs. Greg and I head over to Wasted Space, which is a club owned by Freestyle Motocross Rider, Carey Hart (also known for Hart and Huntington Tattoo’s). Wasted Space is a rock bar/club with attitude and mixes in a bunch of other types of music. There is gorgeous girls everywhere, amazing music and we have a blast here for several hours.
Wasted Space
Day 2
After only a few hours sleep, I wake up around 8am for some unknown reason. Possibly the red bull is still flowing in my blood, it could have something to do with all the oxygen they pump in the rooms or I am just really excited about the day ahead. Since everyone else is still sleeping I decide to hit the casino for some gambling. I go on a serious run at the craps table (at one point rolling for about 30 minutes straight) and make a few hundred dollars. Funny Moment: At one point I went to throw the dice and missed the table completely and hit some girl. The dealer said in all his time there, he had never seen this happen. By this time I manage to get a hold of Brandon and we hit the bar for a bloody mary to reminisce about the debauchery that went down at the strip club. Apparently one of the Aced Consultants, John, is quite the legend at the Spearmint Rhino and knows many of the strippers personally so he managed to hook the guys up with quite an incredible night.
After some time the rest of the crew starts to file down to the casino floor and we all head for lunch at the Pink Taco. We have a nice lunch then all head up to the Lucky 7 Suite to do a little presentation about the future of Aced. We talk about some of the current issues, cool custom features like their Outs program and learn the future plans for the company. All I can say is that they are definitely headed in the right direction and I expect some big things from these guys in the years to come.
Stripper Pole in the Lucky 7 Suite
Lucky 7 Suite
Bar in the Lucky 7 Suite
Jacuzzi In Front of the Stripper Pole
We break up for a bit and Greg, Mike +GF and I decide to hit the mall for a little shopping. We pick up some new clothes for the evening and head back to the Hard Rock for a poker tournament that the Aced guys have set up for us. We have the sickest table in the room which is usually reserved for high roller games. The poker game is tons of fun and we are pretty much laughing having an amazing time from start to finish. John Halloway gets nice and lucky against me after calling a bet pre-flop with KJ for a 3rd of his chips. I have AQ and since over half of my chips are in there I have to push no matter what comes on the flop. With K Q X on board I make the shove and so goes my chance at the $1500 prize pool generously put up by Aced.com.
The crew playing poker in the new poker room at the Hard Rock.
After the poker ends we head to Nobu for dinner thanks again to the Aced guys. They organize an Amazing dinner with huge platters constantly being rolled out to our table, sake, something called purple haze and a massive desert platter. We feast like kings and have a great time over dinner. For the food pictures you will have to talk to Kendall, as he was doing his John Chow thing after every course came out.
Our table at Nobu
Amazing Red Snapper Dish
The night is young and we are already getting buzzed so we head to the Lucky 7 Suite again for a couple of drinks. After hanging out for a bit its time once again to go up to the Penthouse Suite for a Bikini Contest with the girls that we met the night before. I won’t get too much into detail here, but rather just post some pics to show the amazingness that was organized by the Aced guys:
Me and one of the Contestants
The Bikini Contest
Me and Sanja… one of the coolest girls there.
John from Aced.com on the couch and Carey Hart on the right
The crew in the Lucky 7 Suite
After the contest ended we all headed back to the Lucky 7 Suite again to have some more drinks. After about 30 minutes it was time to head down to Body English to finish the night off in style. We had a VIP Host escort us to the club where we were sat at the best table right in the middle of the club. Our security guy Joe quickly introduced himself and said if we needed anything at all he was there for us and he wasn’t kidding. Right after that he went to scour the club for hot girls to bring to the booth. While he was off doing this, our bottles started to arrive in true Vegas style. 3 girls carrying bottles of Dom and Grey Goose show up with huge flares and all:
We were definitely the center of attention for the whole club at that point. The night got pretty sloppy and people started to head back upstairs to the casino or their rooms. Brandon, Jeremy M. and I stuck it out the longest then decided to hit the casino after for one last craps session. The rest of the night is kind of a blur but included things like me playing craps alone at the table for like 45 minutes, Brandon cashing over $100 on a penny slot after one spin that lasted about 15 minutes, and much more. What a day that was!!!
Day 3
We were all up around noon as many of us had to check-out to catch flights home. After a quick lunch in the Hard Rock I thought, what Vegas trip would be complete without a trip to the Gun Range. So, Brandon, John H, Kendall, Mike, Greg and I all got into cabs and made our way over to The Gun Store Las Vegas. Since many of the people had never fired a gun before, we decided that the Coalition Package was probably our best bet. This included:
M249 SAW w/40 Rds
M16 Riffle w/25 Rds
M9 Pistal w/ 20 Rds
Three Targets
Package T-Shirt
Here are some pics from this:
John “#6″ Halloway - John knew instantly when he saw this target that it was his choice… others were a little more tactful in their approach. When asked why he chose that one, John replied “I’m from the ATL”
The happiest man holding ammo
Me and the M-16
I think Kendall is even happier than me to be holding that gun!
Thank you Brandon, John and Xander for everything this weekend as this was probably one of the best weekends of my life!
Finally, to wrap this up…. If you aren’t promoting Aced right now, I suggest you do ASAP. They treat their affiliates like kings, and did so much for us this weekend which I am so thankful! Or, I could say, if you don’t promote Aced, Brandon will shoot you:
Note… don’t forget to check out John Halloway’s recap also.
