My Day
How Do Retarded People Get Jobs as Affiliate Managers?
Mar 10th
Recently I received an email that was titled “Attractive Proposal” so I decided I would investigate further to see what this affiliate manager was offering….
Original Email:
Dear Webmaster,
My name is NAME REMOVED; I am an Account Manager at
www.Affiliateclub.com.
I find your website very attractive for our brands:
www.casinoclub-poker.com,
www.pokerkings.com
Our affiliates are getting fantastic conversion rates!
Do you want to hear more about it?
Kind regards,
NAME REMOVED
Account Manager
My response:
Hi NAME REMOVED,
I am in the process of trying to find a room to get a league going
ASAP. Here are my requirements that I have been asking rooms for:
Hybrid CPA/Rev Share Deal
Tourmanent Prizes
Tell me a bit about your software and what you can offer.
Regards,
Graham Rowlands
GNG Media Inc.
Her reply to my email (notice how she doesn’t even READ MY FUCKING EMAIL!!!):
Dear Graham,
Thank you for your reply.
We have 2 brands with Boss Media software:
1. At www.casinoclub-poker.com – we offer 100% up to 200€ Welcome bonus ( here we can make a special promotion for you)
2. At www.pokerkings.com we offer 100% up to 300€ Welcome bonus
WE are usually working on Rev Share Deal.
What do you think about it?
Kind regards,
NAME REMOVED
My last and final response ever to Natasha:
Well NAME REMOVED, here is what I think about it…
For one, you never even gave me a proposal, but rather decided listing the standard
bonuses on your websites would get my attention. I am not sure how that is supposed to
sell me. I think you started this off with a great attention grabbing title to your
email, but you really need to work on the follow through.
And two, there was nothing “attractive” about it. I get a million of these kind of
emails all the time, and this kind of junk just wastes my time. Don’t beat around the
bush, sell your brand, tell me what I am gonna make, and give me good reasons why I
should promote your brand, over one of the competitors.
Anyway, hopefully this helps you in the future and thanks for giving me something to
write about on my blog.
Better luck in the future!
Graham

Merry Christmas!
Dec 29th
First and foremost, Merry Christmas to everyone or happy holidays if you celebrate some other weird holiday. Just kidding, I don’t discriminate
I had a nice Xmas with the fam. Pretty quiet, but lots of great wine and amazing meals!
Anyway, so lately I haven’t been up to all that much. Just lots of shopping for the holidays, which is thankfully now over, and trying to get some work done, which is as usual pretty unsuccessful. Also been hibernating in my house as it has been ridiculously cold lately.
Vacations… I bought a plane ticket to head back to Argentina on January 21st for 2 months. The prices were so good and since I have been hating every day of winter since I got back I thought it was the right thing to do. Also, I will be going to Venezuela on January 6th for 1 week, so if you are looking for me, good luck! I’ll be on the beach without my computer.
Work… trying to get back into it. Have many projects that have been sitting in limbo that I am trying to get going again. Wish me luck! Dreading doing my taxes, but I know it has to be done. I have the gov’t, bunch of criminals!
Hopefully everyone is enjoying this little break in the year and having a nice time with their families!
I end this post with something I saw today on Wicked Chops Poker… possibly the greatest commercial of all-time! I won’t give any spoilers, BUT be warned… this is NSFW. Enjoy!
Buenos Aires Recap
Dec 15th
Ooops… been back for about a week now and forgot to post about the rest of the Buenos Aires trip.
Well, I survived the paragliding. What an experience that was! For the rest of my time in Mendoza I went rafting and biking around the vineyards. It was probably one of the best parts of my trip and I had a ton of fun there. Here are a couple pics:
Gettin Ready to Jump
On top of the mountain
Biking to the wineries
Dinner with the Dutch Girls on their last night. Amazing Tapas and Wine!
After Mendoza I headed back to Buenos Aires where the trip came to an end after a few more nights of partying.
All in all it was an amazing experience and I am so glad I went. I met a ton of great people from all over the world and made some new friends.
Here are some more highlights from the trip and things that I’ll miss about Buenos Aires…
- Finding out they have Stoli Elite for less than Absolut at Godoy (obvious mistake)
- Celebrating Colombian Christmas at Claudia’s Appt
- Daily beer tips to Plaza Serrano
- Seeing a new “hottest girl in the world” every single day
- My friend Lucio trying to pick up the same girl about 50 times in a row while she is standing at the bar with her boyfriend
- Cheap amazing dinners at sick restaurants every day
- Random blaring of “Feliz Cumple Anos” in nice restaurants
Plus many more!
I might be heading back there again in the new year. If anyone is interested in coming down, let me know.
Bye for now!
Possibly my last post…
Dec 1st
Well, I hope not, and am knocking on wood right now….
This morning I arrived in Mendoza, Argentina. Mendoza is a city in the north that sits right on the edge of the Andes mountains. It is most known for being the wine region of Argentina and probably South America as a whole.
I took the bus last night by myself and arrived here at 8am (John decided to stay back in BsAs with his future wife). Last week I met a few Dutch girls who mentioned they were going to be coming here also, and we managed to meet up at the bus station and head to the same hostel. In a few hours we are all going paragliding. When I signed up for it, I thought it was hangliding, but apparently I was mistaken. Anyway, should be a lot of fun!
Tomorrow we are thinking of doing a wine/bike tour. Basically you go from winery to winery on bikes getting drunk along the way on great Argentinian wines. Should get interesting…
If I have time, I am also going to go white water rafting. I have always wanted to do it, and it is only like $30 here, so its hard to say no.
I am also having my first real hostel experience. The last few times we stayed in hostels we did the private room thing, but this one I am in a shared room. I was supposed to be in a room with some russian guy, but the room did not have lockers so I asked for another. The only other room had 3 spanish girls, so I decided that I would suffer and take that one
Anyway, hopefully I’ll be writing again in the next few days to let you know how it goes. Bye for now!
In Cordoba
Nov 20th
So, Cheryle reminded me today that it has been a while since I wrote anything so here it goes…
Right now I am in Cordoba, Argentina. John and I took a 10 hour bus ride to get here last Friday and we have been here for a week now. Cordoba is smaller than Buenos Aires, but still a pretty big city at around 3 Million people. It is known for having arguabaly the hottest girls in the world, which I can personally attest to.
Anyway, so we arrived Friday and met these girls that we had met in Buenos Aires at the bus terminal. My friend Daniella had a car, so they were able to drive us to where we were staying. We got to our hostel (Cordoba Hostel) which we quickly learned was quite a shithole. Probably one of the worst places I have stayed, but lately things that used to bother me are a lot less significant.
We partied with the girls for a few days and on Sunday morning we went with them to Villa General Belgrano in the Sierras of Cordoba (Mountains) after coming home from the nightclub and sleeping for about an hour. That was a really great day as we walked around a bunch, had a nice lunch and went to a river in the middle of nowhere to lie in the sun and listen to music. As you can probably tell not much work is being done this week.
Later in the week we switched to another Hostel as I couldn’t stand the other. We lucked out at Cordoba Backpackers and got a private room which was like an appt with TV etc. Way nicer!
Tuesday was my birthday. We went out with the girls to a really nice steakhouse and probably one of the nicest restaurants in Cordoba. We ate some of the best and biggest steaks I have ever eaten with tons of apps and side dishes (plus wine obv) and the total bill for the four of us was under $100 USD. This place is awsome. After dinner the girls had to go home as they had an exam the next day, but they dropped us off by the busier bars and we went for some drinks. Eventually we ended up at this one bar and started chatting with the bartenders and managers. Within about 30 minutes we made plans to go out with them when the bar closed to a nightclub that was close by. The club was interesting (lots of hippies and mainly rock music), but we had lots of fun and I had a ton of Fernet and cokes (local drink that tastes kinda like medicine).
Anyway, right now we are trying to decide whether to leave tonight on the overnight bus which is much nicer, or party here one more night and wait till morning to go.
This has prob been a pretty boring entry, but I felt like I should throw something up as it had been a while. Also, I’ll try and get some pics up soon, but I don’t have my laptop with me right now.
Update past due…
Aug 29th
Sorry for the lack of updates to the people that actually come here. Anyway, been trying to enjoy summer and have been slacking a little.
Anyway, summer is almost over so I am gonna have to get back on the grind ASAP. The PAP Niagara Falls meet-up is coming up soon, which should be great. Its nice to catch up with some of the people that you spend all-day long talking to online.
Barcelona is also coming up and I am in desparate need of that vacation. I find going to these conferences is really motivating and makes me work much better. If you are going, you should definitely try and make it out to the dinner that I am organizing.
Well, I don’t have really much else to say, so let me end this post with what I consider to be a very motivating video. I think it never got the love it deserved:
Ethics Go Further Than Being Evil
Jul 3rd
Karma can be a real bitch. If you treat people like shit, it can come back to you 10 fold. You should always treat other people how you want to be treated. So, be nice to your fellow human beings, and good things will come to you!
On a side note, I noticed something funny today happened to Snaps. Tough break pal on your recent troubles with the big G:
This should be a reminder to everyone that if you are going to buy links, don’t be stupid about it!
Spin32 – Spamming Does More Harm Than Good!
Jun 24th
Dear Spin32Poker/Spin32Live/Spin32Casino/Spin32.com/Whatever the hell you call yourself,
Stop spamming me. This morning I replied to your email asking to be removed from your mailing list. In case you can’t remember what email I am talking about, it started off:
“Dear %Name%
I visited your website %Website% and wondered…”
And, came from a campbell@spin32.com. Sure enough, about 10 minutes later I received another email from you guys with my information in it (which you obviously bought or stole from another site as I have never given you my email address.
You obviously didn’t learn anything when it was first brought up in this thread. I have heard all your crap about how you are a small site and can’t afford to hire multiple people to send emails all day, but why the hell would I want to work with you if you can’t even take 2 seconds to look at my site and send a personal email (not just some cookie cutter crap).
One of the funniest things is that you are even sending these out to people that own <establishedpokersite>bonus.com. Are you guy’s that retarded? Why would someone advertise spin32 on something like pokerstarsbonus.com?
If you really want to build relationships with affiliates do it on a personal level, but its already too late for you guys. Hopefully some other sites out there will read this and learn why SPAMMING DOESNT WORK!
Honestly, do yourselves a favor and just shut down your affiliate department right now. Nobody is gonna want to work with a bunch of spammers that use shady marketing tactics!
And, now that I have gotten that off my chest, lets end this on a positive note…
Respect – It can get you farther than being a dick!
May 21st
I decided to write about the topic of respect because there are far too many children getting into business that seem to lack basic people skills entirely. Let me tell you a story of what happened last night with an affiliate that I thought I got along with pretty well (for the sake of identities lets just call him SNAPS – because snapping in a situation is completely retarded, especially if you are trying to get something resolved)…
So its late, I am about to go to bed, when suddenly this message pops up:
21/05/2008 2:51:08 AM SNAPS : you are a total douche
21/05/2008 2:51:49 AM Graham : ?
21/05/2008 2:51:58 AM SNAPS : think before you talk
21/05/2008 2:52:32 AM Graham : whats the matter?
21/05/2008 2:53:07 AM SNAPS : you’re an absolute twat
21/05/2008 2:53:15 AM SNAPS : why don’t you think before you post bullshit on PAP
21/05/2008 2:53:18 AM SNAPS : and mention other peoples domains
21/05/2008 2:53:21 AM SNAPS : that can land them into trouble
21/05/2008 2:53:22 AM SNAPS : idiot
21/05/2008 2:53:34 AM Graham : what domains?
21/05/2008 2:53:50 AM SNAPS : bye graham
At this point I honestly had no idea what SNAPS was talking about, but figured it had to do with something that I posted in a thread that I had been heavily involved with on PAP (and had actually defended in the thread without mentioning names). In the thread I had randomly listed off a bunch of domains as examples (ie. xsitebonuscode.com, xsitereferralcode.com) not really pointing fingers at the owners of those sites, just making things up off the top of my head. It was then that I realized that one of the domains I had used as an example redirected to SNAPS’ site.
Sure, I screwed up, but it was completely unintentional. But, after being called an idiot, douche and twat by this individual I also wasn’t too eager to go back and fix the post either. All this person had to say was “hey man, that site you mentioned in the post is mine, can you please remove it”, and it would have been gone immediately. Instead, this person thinks that it will be more effective to talk to me in a condescending and disrespectful tone to get the problem resolved…. WRONG! I find it funny that people can have such big mouths when hiding behind their computer, but I guarantee they would not say these things face to face. Anything I post online I would gladly back up in person.
Hopefully you have learned something from this experience that it is better to treat your fellow affiliates with respect than treating them like a dog. Don’t be so quick to overreact as a lot of the time people may not know what they are doing that is so wrong. People will be much more willing to accommodate you when talk to them like normal human beings rather than a piece of shit!














